Our firstborn got some important mail last week, namely, enrollment papers for school.

Wait a minute. Wasn't I just there, standing in the school yard, sweaty little hand in my momma's hand, nervously eyeying the other kids, comparing their clothes and bags to my own, wondering if I'm ever going to fit in? I was as shy as they come, never had attended any sort of daycare outside home, my world consisting of our apartment building, its yard, the park nearby, and a very small circle of friends within the block.

This girl, however, is pretty much a complete opposite. Moved across the world when she was 6 months and started part-time daycare at 19 months. Extremely talkative. A social butterfly fluttering from one group to another. Peace, love and can I be your friend?

Ballet kitty by Laura B.

We have made a decision to have her attend the international school. Which moves our daily life even closer to the city center. The twins might be moving to the English daycare, which would be conveniently close to the firstborn's school.

And then there's our house. A dream place for many, a wooden house from the 20's, surrounded by tall trees, sitting by the river. Loads of space in the yard to run around, forests to roam, quiet countryside roads. No neighbors within earshot.

Also lots of inconveniences: twenty-minute car ride from town, closest real grocery store, daycare, post office etc. ten kilometers away, no gyms or hobby places (except of course do-it-yourself outdoor activities), mosquitoes in the summer and snow to plow in the winter (during real winters anyway). Buses run erratically a few times a day (none on Sundays) which means we have to have two cars.

Every day we wonder if we are living in the right place. Weighing pros and cons. Feeling guilty about having two cars in the middle of a climate crisis. Craving a more convenient lifestyle where more things would be available within a short walk. Restaurants, culture, schools, people. Fantasizing about a life without cars. (Hubby's employer is offering discounted bus tickets to everyone willing to change from driving to mass transportation .)

Houses by Laura B.

There is an apartment up for sale in town. In a building even older than our house. The place would require work, but has lots of potential. Building itself is in beautiful shape. Significantly less square meters inside the apartment though. Would really have to cut down on material possessions, which generally is a good idea anyway.

Is it a sign of middle age crisis that you start wanting less rather than more? We see friends building big houses, moving to suburbs in search of more space. Is it strange to want to downsize, consume less, teach children to walk, ride bikes or buses instead of cars?

Would we be depriving the kids by moving into town, taking away their yard, trees, playground, even if there would be big parks within a short walk? Could we really live with less space, give up our sauna, our river view, the fresh air?

Big decisions. Help needed.